Anxiety was present during the night before, on the drive there, and then sitting in the room waiting for the Dr. and staff to enter with my results…..
My thoughts were all focused on how I felt when I left on the day of my testing. I was convinced there was no way I was ready to hear those results. I didn’t want to hear the results! I didn’t want to hear how damaged I was! All I wanted was to feel like me again!
The door opened, and in came the Dr. and a student who was training under her, greetings were shared and the check-up list was done of how I was feeling and how things were going at home, and then came the question!? “Are you ready to hear the results?” I smiled and looked at her for a bit, my courage started to come forward, and I said, “Not certain I’m ready, but determined enough to work as hard as is needed for me to improve.”
Most of my brain trauma was in my right side of the frontal lobe and its connections. A TBI that causes damage to the Frontal Lobe can cause significant cognitive and executive dysfunctions. So what are these dysfunctions?
COGNITIVE ISSUES:
1.Memory Problems: Difficulty encoding(Encoding is the first stage of memory, where new information is processed and prepared for storage. When Encoding is difficult, information may not be properly transferred into long-term memory, leading to forgetfulness or challenges recalling details.), organizing, and retrieving information, leading to errors like misattributing sources or conflating details.
2. Attention Deficits: Reduced ability to focus, sustain, or divide attention across task.
3. Processing speed: Slower cognitive processing, impacting decision-making and task completion.
4. Learning Challenges: Impaired ability to acquire and apply new knowledge effectively.
EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTIONS
- Planning and Organization: Difficulty setting goals, prioritizing tasks, and managing time effectively.
- Cognitive Flexibility: Inability to adapt thoughts and strategies in response to changing circumstances.
- Impulse Control: Increased impulsivity or disinhibition, leading to risky or socially inappropriate behaviors.
- Emotional Regulation: Challenges with empathy, social judgement, and managing emotions(“hot” executive functions.)
- Self-Monitoring: Poor awareness of one’s limitations or performance (impaired self-awareness)
These impairments can significantly impact daily life, relationships, and independence. These functions are critically important for quality of life, as they are implicated in job performance, social relationships, and both basic and instrumental activities of daily living. Both cognitive and behavioral functions fall under the general umbrella of executive functioning, and many of these can be affected by Traumatic Brain Injury.
Well…Hmmm, I still don’t know what to say, and my Neuropsychologist has dealt with this enough, because she took over and started talking and letting me know what the next steps were. She was very supportive about knowing that I was feeling extremely overwhelmed. She asked me to leave the idea that I wasn’t going heal at the door. She said everyone thinks that, but she said this is her job and she’s been doing it for many years, and people in my age group with my severity level of my injury, heal! It will take patience, work and time! She said she was scheduling me with a Speech Pathologist that deals with TBI patients. I will see her personally the first visit, but then we will meet 3times weekly per Zoom.
When I’m writing this today, I can honestly say that I don’t remember much about this day, or how I felt. What I think today re-reading this, is I didn’t know much of what she was talking about, but I’m certain that I was thinking there is no way in hell I’m going to recover!
If there are people reading this, that are dealing with any of these things, make sure you are seeing someone that can help! Don’t ever give up on yourself. This Dr. was correct, I did heal! It did take patience, diligent work, and time (probably about two years). As this continues, I will be honest with you about me being a bit ornery, and not doing or thinking I didn’t need to be doing all these things I was supposed to do. I probably have lists of things you need to listen about and do things you are supposed to do, they all did and do help!
Talk to you soon! Michelle
